...thoughts...

So I haven't touched this since like what, October? That's quite a while. This originally started out as a school project. Now...well, I suppose I'll be using it for my own thoughts.

A lot has changed since October. Some good, some bad...well, not so much bad...I've been single for 2.5 months. And I wish I could say it was easy, but it's not. I have guys who just want to use me for sex, and that's not what I want. I am seriously interested in someone, and I'm trying to make that work. I just don't know sometimes...he's rather confusing. But I love the kid...so we'll see how that goes. I wonder if he knows I really do love him...I mean we joke about it all the time, but like, is he serious? Well, I'm sure he's serious...but in what fashion does he mean it? Does he love me like a friend, or does he love me like someone he wants to be with. I'm trying to figure that out...he told me once that he just wanted to be friends, but he's acting like he wants more. And yeah, I've thought about sleeping with him...but up to this point I've been afraid to mess things up between us. He's told me he'd always be there for me. I hope he's just being honest. I doubt he'd lie to me. He has no reason to.

I feel like I'm rambling. But oh well, it's what's on my mind. Well, that, basketball, Jase, and sleeping. I have to work in the morning.

I'll write more later.